Top 10 Artist Most Likely to Work At Wal-Mart With Waka Flocka Flame

The world is divided by THE REAL and THE FAKE. There’s no in-between, and if you’re wondering what side of the spectrum you fall upon it’s a good chance your fake. Rapper Waka Flocka is the pinnacle of real, he speaks his mind, he does what he wants, he keeps it 100. He’s walking unadulterated realness. In the words of Kayne, he’s dripping real. Earlier this year Waka announced his retirement, because he said as a whole the rap game was just to fake for him. He said it was smoke and mirrors, a complete facade that he couldn’t be a part of. He stated that he would rather work at Wal-Mart than be one of the most well-known rappers in the game. So of course with 2012 around the corner why not speculate who could be a Wally World Employee with Flocka. Here are my top 10 suspects.

10. Hurricane Chris: For argument purposes Hurricane Chris might be Waka Flocka. Remove the beads, add dreads, add a few tattoos, and hand clap is basically the Kid’s Bop version of Round of Applause. Ok, I might be reaching, but with no recent hit, and the lack of online presence I wouldn’t be surprised if Chris was yelling Aye Bay Bay while sweeping up a spill on aisle 15.

9. Dolla Boy: If you looked at his name and asked yourself “who is this guy” that’s the reason he is on the list! Remember him from Playa Circle? If that doesn’t refresh your memory then the song Duffle Bag Boys will. Yes, he’s the guy that raps with 2Chainz but has yet to change his name. Maybe becoming 2Dolla’s will breathe new life to his career before he ends up like the other member of N’Sync (the ones other than Justin Timberlake). From pushing whips in videos with Ludacris to pushing carts in the parking doesn’t seem like a far stretch of the imagination here.

8. J. Holiday: The struggle really comes full circle when the only thing Media Takeout can report is that you cut your braids off. J.Holiday had so much promise, but the R&B vocalist went from serenading women to… well no one knows. Lack of shows might be the reason he’s starring at the Wal-Mart website contemplating a change in careers. Would be dope to see him greeting people during the holiday seasons.

7. Bow Wow: Boweezy is one twitter rant away from joining Wal-Mart’s payroll. His ego has him thirsting for the respect of hip-hop heads, demanding the recognition he says he deserves.The sad thing is as an artist he can sell records, but if we’re talking about his ”rapping” skills, he can’t hang with the elite. I can see him following Flocka and retiring sooner than later. With no script for a Like Mike 3 in hand, don’t be shocked if you see him in Walley World’s sport section behind the counter.

6. Crunchy Black: Hardcore 3-6 Mafia fans will hate me for this one but let’s be real. Since Gotta Stay Fly dropped where has Crunchy Black been!? He’s not getting Trippy Mane with Juicy J. Rappers need employment and Wal-Mart has jobs. Put these two facts together and you have Wal-Mart’s employee of the month. Also the absence of a Wikipedia page on this guy shows his relevance.

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    • jetpack leezy

      this article is hilarious. Travis strikes again! good one fam.