When America’s Next Top Model aired back in 2003, Tyra Banks appeared as a serious mentor for young girls who tried to make it into the fashion business, and for a little while we bought the idea that she was legitimately searching for the next best thing.
Cut to the latest season of ANTM, set to premiere this Wednesday on the CW, and all pretenses are gone out the window to favor the wackiest and craziest cast-members, in other words, the most memorable.
When one of the commercials to promote cycle 17 of the reality series is this:
You know we’re in for some good ‘ol television moments, Tyra style.
Here’s the list of returning “models” this time around, the reasons you might remember them and predictions as to how well they’ll do in the competition.
Shannon, Season 1
She was the good Christian girl with the abnormally leathery skin who wouldn’t pose nude for a photoshoot in Paris.
Out of all the questionable winners in Top Model history, Tyra must truly hate first season’s winner Adrianne for accusing her of not coming through with the prizes. With Shannon, who came at second place, Tyra can once and for all make it right.
Prediction: Top 3, with a good chance of winning.
Camille, Season 2
Camille certainly made an impression in her season and became one of the first villains to ever grace ANTM. However, her most shining moment was when she told a fake casting director about her signature runway walk, a walk that was bound to make her famous. Guess that didn’t work.
Prediction: In her original season, Tyra only kept her for drama, but in this season she won’t be needed.
Brittany, Season 4
Deemed too sexy to be an haute couture model, Brittany suffered the “porn star/slutty girl” edit, however, later in the competition she managed to produce strong pictures.
In her latest interview promoting the show, it seems that Brittany had some work done to her face, and while she’s still a beautiful woman she looks more like Janice Dickinson, which will piss off Tyra.
Prediction: Her personality will bring her some fans, but at best she will make it through the first 4 weeks.
Bre, Season 5
Best known for granola-gate and not much else. Even though she managed to make it into the top 3, Bre was usually in the bottom with Tyra saving her at the last minute because, let’s face it, she delivered the goods in terms of drama.
Prediction: She’s a great walker and she has a great voice which will help her in the inevitable commercial challenges, so most likely, she’ll make it through the middle of the competition.
Lisa, Season 5
She was drunk several nights through filming, she peed on a diaper and she continuously annoyed the other girls. In other words, she was the best thing that happened to season 5.
After her stint on ANTM was over, she got a boob job, made the rounds on other reality shows and became one hell of a rapper:
Prediction: She has personality for days, so there’s a good chance the producers will want to milk her all the way to the top 5.
Bianca, Season 9
“Check your thighs in the mirrah… And I’m done” will forever be funny, and this phrase was created by Bianca, from season 9.
Her mouth made her entertaining but her pictures did most of the talking when it came to judging, and she has been doing pretty well for herself as a model.
Prediction: Definitely top 5 material.
Dominique, Season 10
She didn’t win her cycle, but during The Tyra Show, Dominique participated and won Modelville, another modeling competition where she won a contract with Carol’s Daughter.
Prediction: She already won something, so there’s no chance she will win All-Stars, however, I expect her to land within the top 5.
Sheena, Season 11
If memory serves right, Sheena was the first Asian model to make it into ANTM, which was sort of unfortunate. Like Brittany, Sheena was criticized for being too sexy, but Sheena went more Hustler than Playboy in her poses.
Prediction: She’s more outspoken than crazy and somehow we don’t see her meshing well with the other girls. One of the first models cut.
Isis, Season 11
Isis became the first transgendered contestant ever on Top Model, but that distinction didn’t last because she was dismissed in the first rounds of elimination.
Some of the girls didn’t appreciate competing with her, but we don’t see anyone having a problem with Isis this time around.
Prediction: She’s been featured in the commercials promoting ANTM, so we expect a strong showing.
Allison, Season 12
Known on the internet community as “Creepy Chan”, Allison was the rare “quirky” girl that Tyra seemed to embrace with open arms, though it wasn’t enough to win the entire cycle.
After her stint on the reality show ended, Allison landed a contract with Nous Model in Los Angeles, but soon after she quit.
Prediction: In the real world, Allison would have the best chance at becoming a working model, but ANTM’s winner must have an interesting “woe is me” life story, which Allison doesn’t.
Laura, Season 13
Charming, pretty and approachable are just some words to describe Laura from season 13, but model is not one of them.
In a cycle of short models she shined just because she didn’t have much competition (except for winner Nicole Fox) but amidst big personalities and tall women, she might get lost.
Prediction: On the upside, the season will need someone who is nice, so Laura might be able to fill that spot for a while.
Angelea, Season 14
If there’s one thing that can be said for Angelea is that she definitely wants to be a part of ANTM, and no one rewards desperation better than Tyra.
While she does have a perfect body for modeling, she does look ancient by modeling standards and might lack sophistication.
Prediction: It’s her 3rd time in the show, so she must have some tricks up her sleeve to make it far.
Kayla, Season 15
This season marked a huge change for ANTM, because the prizes included a photo spread for Beauty and Vogue Italia.
Kayla was one of the early favorites and was heavily featured in the series due to her story of being and out and proud lesbian.
Prediction: The crown is hers to lose.
Alexandria, Season 16
The clear villain of her season, Alexandria made a splash with her fellow cast-members for being bossy and moody.
Prediction: Because it was the past season, ANTM fans will remember Alexandria the easiest so it’s expected she’ll go far.
For more information on All-Stars, check: