The insanity is back, and to prove it, this ridiculously delicious commercial was the opening of America’s Next Top Model All-Stars:
One by one, the girls start arriving to their luxurious Los Angeles home, a butler gives welcomes them with champagne, and I immediately think that Lisa should not be there.
All the models start talking about how their careers took off thanks to their experience with the show, but if they’re such hot commodities, why are they coming back again?
As if they were all gladiators in ancient times, the girls start eyeing each other down, secretly making alliances and not-so secretly targeting their enemies.
Angelea already hates Bianca, Bianca hates Lisa, Bre and Bianca have a love/hate relationship, Dominique hates her daughter because she named her Bre, Shannon hates nudity and everyone hates Camille.
When everyone’s settled, Mr. Jay arrives to the house and announces the first photoshoot, which will be shot by Celeste Canino.
Even though this is an all-star season, the economy is hitting Ty Ty Productions pretty hard, so they decided that the first photoshoot will be done in the by pool and the models will be recreating their ANTM personas.
Bianca reminds us why she was memorable, already bitching that she has to wear a red streak in her hair. Also, they played the clip where she tells Saleisha to “check her thighs in da mirrah”.
Bianca says she wants to be a lady. Please don’t.
Allison, Bre, Dominique and Camille do well.
Kayla is given a “Super Gay” dress and reminds us that she’s a lesbian. So, she’s a lesbian, right?
Brittany, Isis, Sheena, Angelea and Lisa were next.
Shannon complaints that she does not model underwear, but she’s fine wearing skimpy bikini bottoms and a bra. Is a bra not considered underwear? Did she not have a lace top? I don’t get it, but if she’s comfortable with half her ass hanging out, then more power to her. Of course, Mr. Jay gives her crap for it, but it seems he’s just doing it for shits and giggles.
At the end of the day, Mr. Jay announces that they will have a live judging with Nicki Minaj as a guest judge.
While Minaj is awesome, Nigel Barker stole the spotlight with his man-weave. André Leon Talley is next, and now I’m convinced Tyra has something horrible, dirty secret on him.
The judging went alright, nobody did that terrible and the crowd seemed pumped… And then it was Alexandria’s turn.
One man shouted “Alex, fuck you!” a woman called her a bitch and everyone else booed her.
At the judging panel, Tyra announces Allison as the people’s favorite, they bitch about Shannon’s underwear-gate, and wonder if Brittany is memorable enough.
The prizes for this season include a spread in Italian Vogue, a cover in Beauty in Vogue, a celebrity guest correspondent for Extra, a national campaign for Express and a 100,000 dollar contract with Covergirl.
Tyra declares Isis the winner of the best picture, while Brittany is sent packing because the audience didn’t remember her.