Spice Girls Reunite For the Olympics – We’re Doomed After All

Affirming that they are indeed up there with the likes of The Who, who will also be playing the show as a part of their tour, 90s girl group the Spice Girls will be performing at the closing ceremony of the London Olympics.

While the group were already in talks to commission a musical, Viva Forever!, the live reunion had reportedly been troubled by  Victoria Beckham (Posh Spice)’s reluctance to participate (as well as, presumably, the collective prayers of the decent-music-listening world). Alas, Beckham has warmed to the idea, likely due to husband David’s role in the Olympic Committee, and the group will join the likes of George Michael, Blur, The Specials and Jessie J on August 12th.

You know what I want? What I really, really want? (don’t worry, I do hate myself for making that reference), I want the Olympic organisers to realise that the UK’s musical heritage is in fact one of hard rock, heavy metal and punk. While I’m aware that the Spice Girls are a cornerstone of 90s UK pop, we’re also the country that spawned the likes of Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Deep Purple  and The Clash, and I’d sooner see these bands perform puppet shows at the ceremony than have us represented by Posh, Ginger, Baby, Sporty, Scary, Sneezey and Dopey.

And while I’m sure the organisers will be quick to pull out the ol’ Paul McCartney trump card, I doubt you’ll see any invites extended to our metal forefathers. You’re more likely to hear me admit that the incredibly cynical tone of this article was in fact a ruse to avoid bringing up the fact that I had a huge crush on Baby Spice as a kid.

Wait, I-

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About Josh Gripton

Josh is an English student currently studying English Literature with Creative Writing at University in the UK. When he's not wasting time acquiring the grappling beam in Super Metroid, you'll find him being far more productive - listening to Black Sabbath and reading comics. He hopes his work at The Silver Tongue will help him get his writing out to the public and professional world, heaven forbid.