ASCAP Showcase Review: Boo or Whew!

I arrived at Smith’s Olde Bar in Atlanta, Georgia and made my way upstairs to what I would deem the “quietest” place in the bar which is ironic since that’s where the live music is played. Upstairs is also where ASCAP showcases some of the best unsigned musicians on the first Thursday of each month, or the worst depending on who you ask.

Tonight’s players are:
JEREMY AGGERS
CONNER CHRISTRIAN & SOUTHERN GOTHIC
BLAIR CRIMMINS & THE HOOKERS
and
I’M CHINESE

As I wait and converse with The Silver Tongue’s photographer , a clean cut with a crew cut, decorated with an expensive suit and yellow golden tie walks up to introduce himself to us.  The man was Daniel Davis, the manager for I’M CHINESE.  And he does indeed look the part, though he seems to have the humility that most managers in the music business lack. Our little small talk trio plays Secret Santa with an exchange of business cards and we talk about the CHINESE that are to be my focal point for this review and the photographer’s click, snap and flash point.

After a few minutes of what may have seemed to be an interview about Daniel and his holy tie (sorry, strange things entertain me), my questions about I’M CHINESE provided an open invitation to actually chat with the guys before they were to go on stage four hours later. I first had the opportunity to meet the front man for I’M CHINESE, Frank Wells, and then John Rosser, their lead guitarist.  I got the impression that these two were very synonymous to a car battery. Frank would be the positive terminal where you connect the red cable and John would be the negative, and most importantly, the grounded portion of the battery.  I suppose the fluid in this battery is the electrically charged music that I later learned would zap you into a state of emotional excitement. I’ll get to the fluid part later.

I was eventually introduced to James BrassWood and his “womb broom” as Frank cleverly titled the bassist’s curly goatee, and then to Stephen Dimmick, the reserved drummer also nicknamed “Dimodopolis.” In fact, the rest of the band seemed calm, conforming and reserved compared to their front man Frank who was nothing short of larger than life. Thanks to Daniel, their manager, I was able to really chat it up with the band and have a lot of good laughs. I’m convinced that if Frank Wells wasn’t the vocalist/guitarist for I’M CHINESE, he would most likely pursue standup comedy. I had a lot of questions; one of them being the obvious – where the hell did they come up with the name of the band? They were certainly not Chinese and picturing them with cute Asian schoolgirl outfits was far from the brain. So begins a little history behind what I like to call “The Chinese Invasion”.

The band seems to have already developed enough hype to get them in the door at Smith’s Olde Bar and this is their fourth time playing at the venue. Not only that, but they caught the attention of Daniel Davis with LG & M Entertainment, and understandably he cradles the guys like a new baby. So, who are I’m Chinese? Are they really Chinese? Taiwanese? Perhaps Chinese enthusiasts or maybe even Communists? Here goes… Frank Wells and John Rosser were friends and listening to a demo tape by a friend, but they couldn’t understand the lyrics. Their friend was Asian and was singing in Chinese. They both finally gave up trying to sing Chinese karaoke with the demo tape and simply replaced the lyrics with “I’m Chinese! I’m Chinese! I’m Chinese!” and there you go.

If you decide to catch an I’M CHINESE show, you will be pleasantly surprised, unless you’re only motive is to check out Asian girls in revealing mini-skirts. Remember my little metaphor about the battery? Well, it sticks and fits like a purple latex glove. Why? When midnight came I was blasted away by their first song entitled “Hold Your Own,” which like the rest of their playlist was nothing less than emotionally charged. “Hold Your Own” took me back to my own childhood at the Junior High dance while I watched everyone slow dance to sad love songs and well, I was just the dork stuck sitting on the bleachers. This statement is very relevant to what I’M CHINESE has to offer musically. I truly felt that I could relate to their music in so many ways. I think that is really significant for any listener. The lyrics of their music seem to focus on lost love, inner conflicts and Frank’s battle with drug and alcohol abuse. Fortunately, he has been clean and sober juggling a Nestle Pure Life bottle of water instead of a liquor bottle for two years. He replaced his addictions with music and impressive guitar riffs, even though he only starting strumming the strings during those two years of sobriety. You can feel the passion in the music like a shockwave of heartbreak and emotional turmoil, yet there is a comical tone to Frank’s personality that makes the band even more irresistible.

A few of the band’s influences are Radiohead, The Doors and The Smashing Pumpkins. This is slightly apparent while absorbing the music, but what is more apparent is the originality that they bring to the stage. Each musician brings their own version of unpredictability with a splash or slam of angst to each song. With songs like “Hold Your Own,” “Trophy,” “Nothing Comes to Mind,” and “Deathbed Conscience,” I was completely gift-wrapped, imported and sold to I’M CHINESE. Prepare yourselves for the Chinese invasion because these guys are going places so quickly that “quickly” isn’t even the appropriate word to use.

Next was Conner Christian & Southern Gothic…

One thing came to mind when these guys came on stage: the Jonas Brothers with a fiddle??? But then the music started and I was quickly pulled out of my intellectually jaded musical snobbery.  I was simply amazed. The dynamics in their style just about pulled me out of the chair onto the dance floor with only one mission in mind: to find some unsuspecting sweetheart with whom I could perform my own little rock n roll square dance. The crowd transformed from a small group of politely nodding mannequins to a mass of agile zombies hungry for some really good music. Eventually, I couldn’t even see the band play because there were so many people standing and dancing and being magnetized by a band that has dared to mix country with genres that even I don’t remember  the name of. The front man was truly charismatic and as a vocalist, he was gifted with the rasp and grit of a heavy metal screamer and the romantic sadness of a blues singer. With songs like “Stella Please,” “Winter,” and “Hang My Head,”  I have not only been exposed to a more edible form of country, but I have obtained more of a respect for country music in general. I wouldn’t be surprised if these guys found themselves on CMT by next year at the latest. They not only get a “Bravo!” from me but they get a loud “Yee-fucking-Haw!”.  If I were to assign one word to Conner Christian & Southern Gothic, it would be the word DYNAMIC! Even their outro was DYNAMIC! And I am DYNAMICALLY impressed!

And then came BLAIR CRIMMINS & THE HOOKERS. I was walking back in the room with my tater tots and blue cheese dressing. A guy with a hat and suit got on stage and started playing the guitar. I yawned and then thought to myself – Is this some kind of intermission??? It was a blues song being played on a nifty little guitar by the vocalist. Just as I was about to experience that cute little reflex of simultaneous inhalation of air and stretching of my eardrums while anticipating the inevitable exhale that follows, I was blasted away by a back draft of horns; a saxophone, keyboards, either a tenor or bass trombone accompanied by vocals that ripped space and time while mercilessly sucking me back into the ragtime era. BLAIR CRIMMINS & THE HOOKERS possess your soul like a relentlessly starved demon. You are consumed by the ups and downs and the twists and turns of their music so much that calling an exorcist would be an exorcise in futility and error. Their brass and rhythm stick their claws into you and make you lust for more. Their songs are dark and beautifully crude. Crudely beautiful works just as well. BLAIR CRIMMINS & THE HOOKERS appear dressed as refined gentlemen while seducing you into a hell that can only change your perspective on what truly is “paradise.” Their composition titled “Oh Angela” was outstanding and a must-listen-to. If you want to experience a roller-coaster ride of music then these guys are the ones to give you the ride.

Sinfully yours, Judas Moon

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1. ASCAP Showcase at Smiths Olde Bar
2. Live Show Review Australia: Frankie Wants Out
3. Live Review: The Devil Wears Prada – Back To The Roots